What Stops Us From Addressing Our Drinking Habits
What stops many of us from addressing our drinking habits could be as simple as a misunderstanding or complexed as a belief system.
Years before I stopped misusing alcohol in 2003, I looked around for help with my drinking habit, and it was AA or nothing, and that simply was not an option. I was in my early thirties, and everything about the idea of taking alcohol out of my life forever seemed absurd.
I was raised in what most people would refer to as an alcoholic environment. I reject that theory and believe that’s why I have never struggled with my decision to stop drinking. I don’t subscribe to the standard language, labels, or beliefs that most use to describe alcohol mismanagement and traditional recovery. Sober, recovery and drunk have expansive meanings and are worth considering.
In Wholly Sober, I touch on how my mom was drunk with fear even when she was not drinking, and that fear was a driving force behind her choice to drink. Along with dissonance, shame, guilt, and the underlying, ever-present while intoxicated with alcohol, rage.
I didn’t drink like my mom, but I didn’t know how to drink either. I witnessed drinking to get drunk.
But I have come to understand that learning how to drink was just one part of the puzzle over the years of coaching, studying, and my sober revolution.
The pain of having a distracted mind, stuffed and misaligned emotions, and no clear inspiration to center you and pull you forward in life increases your likelihood to rely on alcohol to ease your discomfort.
It’s very likely that if you’re relying on alcohol to take you away, it’s not a disease or disorder problem. It’s a habit, pattern, process, daydream and do, express yourself, you’re not done, whole-person-life system, sorted affair.
EXPANDING ON DRUNK, RECOVERY, SOBER
In Sober Revolution, a little book I wrote to explore my thoughts on being sober, I realized a clear distinction between what people think sober is and what being sober truly is. It’s equally important to understand the expansion of what being drunk is, and I touch on my viewpoint about recovery.
Following is a page out of the free download Sober Revolution, Sober is Making Your Days Count, NOT Counting the Days You Don’t Drink.
I had been rethinking my drinking for years before I found myself so exhausted and not thinking clearly that I fell victim to a conman. I was vulnerable to his promises and lies and became physically, mentally, and emotionally abused by the man I refer to as Prince Harming.
I call this my drunk stage because I was going through the motions just to survive, whether I was drinking or not. In the last year of my drinking, I did remain uncomfortably numb with alcohol, and I was emotionally charged. I wanted to be angry. It was the only time I felt I had any power.
Several months into my “sobriety’ I faced two business bankruptcies, personal bankruptcy, over fifty thousand in tax debt, an empty bank account, joblessness, homelessness, and rejection by my sponsor and community.
I call this recovery stage because I wasn’t clear of mind yet. I was going through what the program was telling me and not thinking for myself. I was managing a disease and living by other people’s and a program’s direction.
Nobody knew me–not the real me. I didn’t even know me until I made some really hard and terrifying decisions and took charge of my life, becoming Wholly Sober. I share more about being Wholly Sober later. Wholly Sober is the true definition of sober; clear mind, open heart, and defined intention.
One of the terrifying decisions I felt in my soul I had to make and that my sobriety depended on it was to stop thinking about drinking and allowing alcohol to have the center stage in my life. If I had to keep talking about alcohol, drinking, my drunken days, I knew I would get drunk again. I wanted to be free. So, I left AA and found sober freedom.
Sober Freedom is learning to live without needing alcohol to relax, shut off, dumb down, numb out, and have fun. It’s connecting to self, identifying what makes your soul sing, and your spirit dance, and feel fulfilled. It’s about focusing on what matters most and letting go of supposed to’s, shoulds, and wish I hads. It’s about moving forward.
If you have any questions or rethinking your drinking and this article resonates, don’t hesitate to reach out. You can contact me by clicking this link.