Stop Making Alcohol the Enemy
I just read an interesting article. It basically argued my position on alcohol and how society needs to make alcohol the enemy.
If you want sober freedom, you must stop making alcohol the enemy.
Just for a minute, get curious about why you choose to drink.
Now, there are people whose mental health is so far gone after continuous substance abuse that they don’t know any other way of surviving. There is no rationalizing or reasoning. But if you’re able to make a conscious choice to drink or not, that’s not you. If you can choose not to open a bottle of wine because little Timmy has an appointment or Susie needs to go to the emergency room, I would suggest you dig a little deeper before throwing yourself into the mindset of all-or-nothing recovery because you think you can’t help yourself.
When we are not ready to make that kind of lifetime commitment, our confidence lessens in our own power to lead our lives because traditional recovery is forever. We become convinced, as told repeatedly, that we are indeed powerless, which profoundly affects our psyche. We surrender our identity from who we think we are and who we could be to what we think we have to be because we’ve lost control of our drinking. Our identity becomes hijacked, and we begin to lose hope.
Is this all there is, turns into, this is it.
When all experiments fail
Most people aren’t told or understand is after some time passes, many of us feel like we may have jumped the gun. My drinking wasn’t so bad. I’ll just drink on weekends. I’ll have a glass of water in between drinks. I’ll do the sober January or the dry December or whatever the trend is of the day, week, or month. When all of these experiments fail, for the most part, you’re left feeling like you’re the failure.
We need to stop focusing on alcohol as the problem and start exploring other possibilities. Like, why do you prefer to stop being fully conscious? Isn’t life precious? Don’t you want to be awake and aware to absorb every delicious morsel? No, why not?
Where we need to go
Yes, this is where we need to go, but this is just the tip of the iceberg. Yet, many of us are afraid to start poking around. What if I find I have to leave my husband? Or I have to leave my job? Or I have to speak up? Or this is who I am, and people love me. I love being the life of the party, go to for advice, the strong one, the caretaker. I know this life and it’s not perfect, but I can handle it!
Here’s the THING. Most of us already have some scary suspicions that are peeking out, and we misuse alcohol to shove them back into the recesses of our mind, but they never go away.
We are afraid of what we don’t know.
The fears of confronting the truth are very real, and there are no guarantees that you won’t have to make extremely difficult decisions.
But what if you don’t make these decisions? Who will you be for the rest of your life? When you are on your death bed, what ghosts of dreams, goals, and aspirations will surround you?
Getting on with life
I have experienced sober freedom for more than eighteen years. I opted out of an alcohol-focused lifestyle; abstinence is the only measure of success, twelve-stepping, AA meetings, and your sponsor is your savior over seventeen years ago. I simply GOT ON WITH MY LIFE.
That didn’t happen like pulling a band-aid off, though. It took asking many hard questions and becoming still enough to let the answers surface, experimenting with who I was becoming, and getting curious about what else, what if, and what’s next?
Are you ready to explore the possibilities? If so, let’s talk! I’ve been helping women work from the outside-in, listening with empathy and curiosity, asking questions and wondering with them, equipping them with tools that help them move forward with confidence for over ten years.
Schedule a time to talk by clicking here.
I’d be honored to join you on your journey.