STOP COUNTING THE DAYS YOU DON’T DRINK ALCOHOL
Stop counting the days you don’t drink alcohol, instead make the days count.
You will rarely hear me talk about alcohol, drinking, or not drinking with a client. Why that is – whether it’s to count the drinks or days you don’t drink, you are still thinking about drinking, and neuroscience tells us that keeps the drinking ball in play in your mind. Every time you remind yourself about alcohol, such as I didn’t drink today, you bring alcohol into your consciousness, and your brain looks for things to associate with alcohol. The memory is triggered; remember when….
DING, DING, DRINK
The more we keep ringing the drinking bell by thinking or speaking about drinking, not drinking, remembering good times, bad times, I can’t drink, alcohol is evil, the better chance your feedback loop will engage and cause unnecessary struggle.
What’s the problem with that? Besides the obvious, who wants to struggle?
Any mention of a word or feeling that you associate with drinking (ringing the bell) has the potential to activate the feedback loop.
It works something like this;
I used to drink on Fridays. Ding
- We’d go to Cheers and have a couple of beers and play darts. Ding
- Oh, that was fun. Ding
- It’s unfair that I can’t have fun. Ding
- I remember when I could drink. Ding
I feel stressed. Ding
- I just want to stop thinking. Ding
- It would feel good just to turn it off. Ding
- I used to have a glass of chardonnay. Ding
- It would be so nice if I could just take a break. Ding
Happy New Year. Ding
- It used to be so much fun to have a few drinks. Ding
- Drinks make life so much more enjoyable. Ding
- I really enjoyed feeling free while drinking. Ding
- Life seems so boring without alcohol. Ding
It’s five o’clock. Ding
- I can’t drink. Ding
- I used to drink a bottle by myself. Ding
- It’s stupid that I can’t drink anymore. Ding
- Alcohol is so bad for me. Ding
Sarah’s coming over. Ding
Sam hasn’t called. Ding
And with every related thought, the feedback loop cycles through faster while pumping more and more dopamine to fuel your desire to get the job done; drink!
I bet you could come up with at least a dozen thoughts that are alcohol-based, pro or con, and possibly have given life to them in the last twenty-four hours.
So, what happens after the feedback loop is started with a memory?
The dopamine pump fires up, providing energy to pursue a desire and signals the strategizing part of your brain; how can we make this happen? If there is not a compelling and strong enough desire to intercept the cycle, it will continue to pick up in volume and velocity, and each cycle, the compulsion gets stronger until you say, fck it, and drink.
BREAKING THE FEEDBACK LOOP
Sober Freedom helps you focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. So, there’s no counting the days you don’t drink; instead, we focus on making
The focus is not on the alcohol but on the life you want to create. What do you want that alcohol is preventing you from? your days count.
Instead of talking about drinking (or not drinking), we encourage daydreaming about the possibilities and encourage each other to take small, consistent actions.
Rather than numbing out, we suggest finding ways to play, take a moment to pause, and practice being the woman of your dreams. Who do you want to be that drinking is getting in the way of?
CONNECTION AND COMMUNITY
We meet once a month, the first Friday of the month, to set our intentions to allow desired thoughts, feelings, actions to flow while creating awareness around beliefs, and behaviors, that have kept us stuck relying on alcohol for many reasons.
We meet again on the third Friday of each month to reflect on what’s working, what’s not, and whatever else. Reflection helps us refine our intention and release anything that’s preventing us from moving forward.
When I speak of intentions, I’m not talking about an overarching goal, like; I’m not drinking this month. I encourage small, simple, easy-to-do, stackable intentions that move you forward while gaining clarity, exercising courage, and building confidence.
Can you imagine what you could do with support like this?
We provide a unique forum to play with thoughts and ideas and practice them for fun, information, and growth.
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