Each one of us is unique. Born as an individual. A divine creation. Not one of us is exactly the same. Sure there may be similarities, but not the same.
Why is this so important to me? Why does it matter that I explore this? I think maybe I was triggered when I wrote recently about someone tagging me as a survivor. I wrote about how I had a strong reaction to it. I wasn’t offended by the word, as much as, I was affected by the tagging and placed with all the other survivors. Like, “now I know you, you are a survivor”, and placed in the survivor slot.
Or the times in junior high when the principal had a special pet name for me, little Bitch. Oh, how just the sight of me could provoke him. Sure I cut class, drank Mad Dog 20/20, got in fights, and smoked grass, with all the other hoodlums. Awe, my beloved hoodlums. But he didn’t see that I was also the protector of the underdogs on the playground. The kids that were tortured and terrorized because they were different. I was their defender. Nope, Mr. Parr didn’t know that about me. He also didn’t know that I was smart and creative and wounded, deeply wounded. That I drank to escape and feel a touch of freedom. I fought for justice and to protect the weak and vulnerable. I cut class because I had an over protective mother that wouldn’t allow us to go anywhere except school, and most of the time the cutting of the class, was her keeping us home. And about the weed, it really wasn’t my thing. I did it if it was there.
They say people make an opinion about you within seconds, maybe minutes. That’s why you should “Always make a good first impression”. Wanna know what I think? Ta’ hell with preparing for that first impression. You are you. Beautifully, gloriously, radiantly you. If YOU show up. I found that most of the people I meet aren’t the same people I get to know. We are all fucking human. And that’s a great thing. We have one of a kind experiences, with an individual mind, using its very own way of processing information, utilizing every unique life experience you’ve ever encountered, to come to its own conclusion, outcome, realization, thought, and perception. Damn we are beautiful and complexed.
Which brings me to – The incredible need to be alike. The more we are alike we are accepted. We want to find our tribe and fit in. We want to be loved and to matter. God, that’s the greatest need, isn’t it? To belong. Couldn’t that be where we connect and come together as one? Rather than we buy the same labels, drink the same kool-aid, (pun not intended…okay maybe it was subconsciously), read from the same book,share the same affliction -like alcoholics, or even worship the same God.
What if we connected because we want to experience learning, love, and laughter? Without the sacrificial loss of our individuality and uniqueness trying to be alike.
In an effort to understand my strongest core value, Individuality, I noticed none of my friends are connected in any other way, other than me. They all have vastly different interests, beliefs, body sizes, hair colors, educations, and on and on. I never knew I had friends that were struggling with alcohol until I started working from the Pink Cloud Coaching theory. It turns out a few were concerned. I have friends who smoke dope and others who have never even tried it. I have hippie friends and couture friends.
Recently I was told, “You’ve always made friends with people that have the most challenging personalities”. It’s true. A few of my friends can rub general society, yes I generalized, the wrong way. They are “too the point”, “speak their truth”, kinda gals. It’s almost as though a filter was missed in production. I can see how it could be off-putting, but I just never personally got offended by their directness. I think I revel in it. I love their individual spirit. They don’t try to fit in or conform. They simply…be.
- What does your friend pot look like? Green beans or Goulosh?
- What differences do you see in you and your friends?
- Do you pull back or go along to get along?
- How does your individuality and uniqueness shine through?
- What would you like to do differently to celebrate your you-ness?
- Having trouble answering any of these questions or not liking the answers?
Let’s work together getting your You to shine through.
– Teresa Rodden, Certified Life Coach
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– Teresa Rodden, Certified Life Coach