It was a night between Christmas and the New Year 2002.
The karaoke machine was going. Singing, drinking, and merriment for all. Well, not quite. I had been drinking for awhile, not up for singing, and I’m not sure what I was feeling, but merriment wasn’t it. I seemed to be in another world.
What I remember is the fading sound of music as I schlepped up the narrow dark stairs. It was kind of like an out of body experience. Part of me was awake and aware while the other was drunk.
I stumbled across the top floor hall where the centurion oak swayed on the other side of the window panes and threw mesmerizing shadows on the wall. Through the master bedroom I managed and into master bath.
The music echoing through the 100 year old farm house. Kind of like in a movie when someone is on a bad acid trip and the music seems separate from the scene. I got undressed and slid in the shower.
Does anyone know where I am or what I’m doing? I thought to myself. I couldn’t figure out what brought me to take a shower. It was like I had this independent reasoning coexisting with drunkenness.
And in what seemed like slow motion my arm and hand twisted around the shower curtain, my feet lost connection from the shower floor and the shower curtain came down rod and all. What the hell? As I was trapped somewhere in my mind I had a sudden realization that my body was not under my coherent control, but in the control of the drunkard. I’m so tired. Yes, tired. Deeply tired. But as they say, “no rest for the weary”.
I threw up. I never throw up. It’s a curse and a blessing. What happened next scared me more than what I had just experienced.
I brushed my teeth, combed my hair, got dressed, and…to be continued..
What I shared above is part of my story. I have not shared much about my experience as an expert drinker, but that is about to change. For good, bad, or indifferent, the journey I have traveled is part of the woman I am Be-Coming and the work that I am so passionate about.
If you’re interested in learning more about ending your struggle with alcohol, Schedule a free coaching consultation today!
– Teresa Rodden, Certified Life Coach