Is there an alcohol crisis?

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Is there an alcohol crisis? Are you an alcoholic? Do you have an alcohol use disorder? 

According to the Forbes article, The Alcohol Crisis In America Has Been Overshadowed By Opioids, But Can No Longer Be Ignored,

alcohol is the 3rd leading preventable cause of death in the United States, And my home state, Oregon is one of the leaders for the most alcohol-related deaths.

“CDC data shows New Mexico, Montana, Wyoming & Oregon have the most alcohol-related deaths in the U.S.”

https://www.forbes.com/sites/nicolefisher/2019/02/23/the-alcohol-crisis-in-america-has-been-overshadowed-by-opioids-but-can-no-longer-be-ignored/#54db8484fd5d

 

Okay, message received. But before you go running panicked into your doctor’s office take a breath and read on.

Using fear as a way to promote my message and position around alcohol misuse and abuse has never been appealing. I don’t think fear is enough of a motivator for people to change their drinking ways. If it were the traditional teachings and recovery programs would be much more successful in remediating this growing challenge. In fact, I was so tired of being afraid of “my disease doing pushups in the parking lot getting stronger, even in my abstinence, waiting to take me down,” that I hopped on my pink cloud and left AA over fifteen years ago and trailblazed a new way to live sober. I don’t have a magic wand, but I have found a way to address a scary subject and help people take charge of their relationship with alcohol before it takes over.

Having a drinking habit does not automatically make you an alcoholic or have an alcohol use disorder. 

My work is focused around Primed Drinkers. A Primed Drinker recognizes something needs to change and can make conscious choices to drink or not drink. But Primed Drinkers have nowhere to turn unless they want to go all in and accept the diagnosis of Alcohol Use Disorder (an incurable brain disease, also know as, commonly referred as, Alcoholism).

Primed Drinkers can and do take charge of their relationship with alcohol. Sometimes on their own simply by becoming aware and acknowledging their concern and implementing strategies to change their drinking habit. Not everybody who is concerned with their drinking or struggle with their decision to not drink is an alcoholic or have an alcohol use disorder.

Typically Primed Drinkers will start doing research on the web and quickly get swept into our recovery ready culture and all arrows point to alcoholism (alcohol use disorder). This creates fear, and the Primed Drinker will either stop seeking information and support or hastily assume the identity of an alcoholic.

When they stop seeking support, they may continue their drinking, but now they have a head full of everything they’ve downloaded in their brief exposure to the all too common jargon of alcoholism and alcohol use disorder. This can cause more harm than good giving rise to fear and avoidance and fuel their need to misuse alcohol.

Hastily assuming the identity of an alcoholic or having an alcohol use disorder means a lifetime of managing a disease, also known as recovery.  There is nothing wrong with the latter, providing you are an alcoholic and not just assuming the identity because there’s no other consideration.

Read The Primed Drinker and learn how to avoid progressing along the drinking continuum toward alcoholism or accepting a diagnosis that may not be appropriate.

 

 

I blog, but not here

https://soberrevolution.com/blog/f/i-blog-regularly-just-not-here

I blog, but not here

I often get frustrated with myself because I don’t blog. But the truth is I blog every day at least once. It’s just not here. Have you been to the Pink Cloud Coaching Facebook page or Pink Cloud Coach on Instagram? How about the Facebook group Sober Revolutionaries? I rarely post a quick pic or anything without a message to go along with it. That’s where I spill my truth and thoughts every day.

It seems like a no-brainer to just pop onto my website and add a post but I’ll tell you what’s been my biggest obstacle is what’s in my head about what I’m supposed to do. Be consistent. No less than three hundred words. Make sure you’re using the “right” words.” Have a call to action. And before you know it a year has passed since my last post.

In the spirit of populating my blog and making sure you have something fresh and current to read when you land here, I will start sharing some of my posts and elaborate a bit further on them here.

And if you have something specific you’d like me to address or give my thoughts about… let me know because I do this for you.

I want you to know how powerful you are. How you are not what anybody says about you or what you’ve done in your past. You are full of potential and untapped magic. You have a purpose while on this planet, and my purpose is to help you see that you HAVE OTHER POSSIBILITIES TO EXPLORE.

Regardless, if alcohol is a problem for you or not I write and speak to women who feel trapped, powerless, helpless or hopeless. Because what I’ve found is alcohol typically is not the problem. It’s a coping mechanism. It’s a symptom. It’s a default. It’s a habit that can be changed without identifying as an alcoholic or signing up for a lifetime of recovery. If you’re not misusing alcohol and feel these things you’re probably misusing something else like tv, food, shopping, sex or fill in the blank.

Let’s set you free. Tell me what you want to explore and discuss.

With love, XoT

 

 

Sex and Alcohol fuels alcohol abuse

sex and alcohol fuels alcohol abuse

We are moving and hope you’ll follow us to https://soberrevolution.com/blog/f/sex-and-alcohol-fuels-alcohol-abuse

 

In Wholly Sober – How I Stopped Thinking About Drinking and Started Loving My Life, I purposely did not emphasize my sexual history. Mostly, because it could have easily become the focus and distract from my intention–to show how I was primed to drink, not born an alcoholic. I did share a few instances, but there is so much more.

Some were consensual, but way too many were not. When you wake up after being aggressively mishandled and hungover, trying desperately to piece everything together, it’s frightening. See what I did there? I used the term “aggressively mishandled” instead of raped or sexually assaulted. Because like most women who find themselves in this position I felt responsible because I chose to drink—I put myself in that situation. I didn’t fight back enough. Instead, I chose to relent to get through it. It was my fault.

Unfortunately, I cannot forget becoming conscious to crying and pleading with the man to stop to no avail. I can’t forget saying no over and over and over while feeling trapped and unable to escape without making a “scene.” Now, I wonder why I was so afraid of raising hell? Sometimes it was because I was at a stranger’s house or location. The strangers were his friends, and in some cases, they had to of heard me declining his sexual advances, but no one helped. It seemed there was no way out but through sex. And sure enough, once the heinous act would be over, I would be released. I can still recall feeling overwhelmed with shame, guilt, and disgust. How could I have done this again? I stuffed that into my soul accepting full responsibility for the act. Guess what that did? It fueled my need to drink.

I was alerted to the following article this morning, and it’s what sparked this post.

“One in five women has experienced some form of sexual assault, figures show…

An estimated 3.1% of women (510,000) aged 16 to 59 reported that they had experienced a sexual assault in the last year….38% of the victims were under the influence of alcohol.”

It’s been over fifteen years since I’ve been violated by unwanted sexual advances, including having to have sex with my ex, referred to as Prince Harming in Wholly Sober. Saying no was not an option. As long as I was drinking, he could wear me down. And the more I drank and had sex with that beast, the more I felt shame, guilt, and regret—pain. The more pain, the more I needed to drink.

Sex and alcohol is a messy combination. It can enhance a nice evening with a kind and loving partner. But with the rise of women drinking excessively and reported sexual assaults, and my haunting memories of years ago, it’s more often a destructive formula that fuels alcohol abuse.

One more thing…

Just because you’re married, living with, or in a committed relationship, it’s not okay to have sex when you don’t want to. If you’re drinking to get through the act of it, it’s never going to get better. I’m not suggesting THIS is rape or not consensual. But I know from my own experience and working with women for over a decade, alcohol is often misused for emotional lubricant to have unwanted to sex with their significant other. The more you do this, the more you will need to drink. Something to think about.

 

Wholly Sober Author Teresa Rodden

 

 

Teresa Rodden is the founder and owner of Pink Cloud Coaching, Author of Wholly Sober, creator of several woman based groups and organizations that recognize the unique needs and challenges of women.

She’s passionate about helping women identify their personal power and break the need to misuse life-sucking vices robbing women of their one and only precious life experience. Living Wholly Sober is not recovery! Click here to talk.

Watch Teresa Rodden being interviewed on KATU Afternoon Live

Women Are More

Women are more proactive than men for health and wellness, including concerns with alcohol.

women are more proactive

Harvard studies have shown women are more likely to talk to their healthcare professional (HCP) long before alcohol dependence.

The problem is an HCP often does one of two things: brushes it off sees her drinking as normal and the woman continues her drinking without any change OR routed the traditional treatment path identifying as alcoholic where she doesn’t fit and again, no change.

Women typically progress in their drinking habits much quicker and their health is negatively affected. There’s not a lot of studies and research on women and alcohol. Most have been done on men. So, there are no real answers.

Hormones and fat to muscle ratio are a few factors that cannot be ignored. But again, no real science supports that.

We as women tend to hold on to guilt, shame, and regret (GSR). I witnessed this with my mother and then myself. The problem is we smooth over it with alcohol and when the magic of the alcohol fades the feelings are then amplified and this plops us into what I call the drunk cycle. Without interception. the drunk cycle will increase in velocity and volume.

The more we drink, the more poor choices, the more pain, the more we drink…the drunk cycle will increase in velocity and volume without interception. 

This doesn’t mean you’re an alcoholic. It means you need to hit pause and take charge before alcohol takes over.

You can do this by doing some discovery work. Here are a few ideas for you to start with:

  • Recognize the steps you take leading to drinking
  • Identify the source of the GSR
  • Overwhelm your desire to drink with life desires
  • Create a plan that supports your intention
  • Have some accountability

Pink Cloud Coaching offers a variety of options to support you where you’re at. Whether you would like to go strong and make a ninety-day commitment to your health and wellness, schedule an hour at a time, attend a sober curious class, or join our closed Facebook group, GALS Connect. It’s important to know that you are not alone. There are so many bright, successful, fully competent women who are rethinking their drinking. That’s what responsible women do.

There is a drinking continuum. We start with “normal” and end with “alcoholic.” But there is a lot to be considered in-between.

Wholly Sober Author Teresa Rodden

 

 

Teresa Rodden is the founder and owner of Pink Cloud Coaching, Author of Wholly Sober, creator of several woman based groups and organizations that recognize the unique needs and challenges of women.

She’s passionate about helping women identify their personal power and break the need to misuse life-sucking vices robbing women of their one and only precious life experience. Living Wholly Sober is not recovery! Click here to talk.

Watch Teresa Rodden being interviewed on KATU Afternoon Live

 

The Power of Reflection Continued

We are moving. Please join us at https://soberrevolution.com/blog/f/when-pain-hijacks-sobriety

 

The Power of Reflection continued from Part One

“….The pain I feel in reflecting on this time is for my mother.

Nobody once asked:

What hurts so bad that you want to escape?…. What would it take for you to feel safe?

to be continued… – excerpt from closing part one.

 

Maybe a little compassion and grace could have changed my mother’s life. Instead, she was managed with anger and judgment, and she returned it equally. She spat at my stepdad on a regular basis. Reminding him, he wasn’t the father of us kids, and he had no rights to discipline or otherwise. Telling him, he was less of a man and reminding him that he wasn’t her first choice. Why he stayed? I’ll never know. Maybe because when they were growing up he had a crush on her and he had finally owned the prize. I don’t think it was love because love doesn’t inflict pain on purpose trying to cut deeply leaving innumerable scars. Perhaps he felt some sense of responsibility to care for all of us? That doesn’t make sense either. Because he often abandoned us for weeks or months at a time. They were different times. Maybe he was just as injured and didn’t want to be in his lonely world by himself? As they say, “hurt people, hurt people.”

When I start working with a new client, she often responds like a deer caught in the headlights of a fast approaching car when I ask, “what do you want?”

 

What do you mean what do I want? I have everything I could ask for. I couldn’t ask for more.

Did you pick up on what just happened there? I didn’t ask for what she deserved or what she should want. I asked what she wanted.

Why do you suppose that we stop even asking ourselves what we want? Because there’s some part of us that thinks:

 

I made my bed; I should lie in it? This is as good as it gets? I can handle what I got I better not rock the boat?

 

Many of us are such “practicing positive thinkers” that we have trained ourselves to look at the bright side even though we are wholly unfulfilled and need to prick ourselves with an emotional pin now and then just to feel something.

Is this you?

Did you just swallow hard?

Are tears streaming down your cheeks?

Regardless if this is an “oh, gawd, you know.” Or a meh… it’s worth thinking about.

Do you have aspiration, ambitions, goals, dreams, plans to really express yourself in this one magnificent life of yours?

Did that catch your breath? Another meh?

 

Either of these reactions is a call for you to go deeper. Find that spark.

 

When was the last time you couldn’t help but smile at the possibility of a new something? A new lover, book, hike, venture, friendship, anything that gave you a fresh perspective; a new sense of hope, a connection to self.

 

If you can’t remember it’s been too long. Start doodling some dreams and then move in their direction.

About my Mom… I truly love and adore her. She wasn’t perfect, but I believe she did the best she knew how. She stopped drinking in 2007 without any intervention of any kind. She simply stopped. She was done.  Mom had to live with and dependent on others until 2003 that’s when she finally had a home she could call her own. She was responsible for her own care for the first time in her life. It took her a few years, but when she realized she was in charge, she no longer needed to numb.

Need some help? My mission is to help women break free from their need to misuse alcohol — we do that through life coaching and sober strategies. It’s not about the alcohol. Schedule your free consultation to learn how you can Go After Life Sober.

 

 

 

Wholly Sober Author Teresa Rodden

 

Teresa Rodden is the founder and owner of Pink Cloud Coaching, Author of Wholly Sober, creator of several woman based groups and organizations that recognize the unique needs and challenges of women.

She’s passionate about helping women identify their personal power and break the need to misuse life-sucking vices robbing women of their one and only precious life experience. Living Wholly Sober is not recovery! Click here to talk.