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When Rita Wilson’s Ted Talk Meets The Primed Drinker



When Rita Wilson’s Ted Talk Meets The Primed Drinker

When Rita Wilson’s Ted Talk meets The Primed Drinker, by asking, “What do I want?

Omg!! From about 9 minutes, Rita’s message could have been an excerpt from The Primed Drinker.

Rita doesn’t mention she has any history with alcohol concerns. But I don’t coach and teach about addiction either.

I think that’s what made Rita’s message so surprising to me because it’s so in line with The Primed Drinker’s message.

I was faced with the realization when I got sober seventeen years ago that I drank because I felt trapped and hopeless and stayed sober by never settling for what is and keep entertaining, what else?

I’ve been coaching that misusing alcohol is born from an unspoken or unidentified need that’s not being met for nearly a decade.

And I have been adamant for even longer that not all alcohol concerns should be funneled into the same conclusion (chronic brain disease) and rely on the traditional protocol that’s damn near impossible to avoid.

The Primed Drinker Teresa Rodden What do you want?

 

THE PRIMED DRINKER CASE STUDY

One of the case studies in The Primed Drinker is, Susan. Her story demonstrates Rita’s message perfectly.

“…Susan was a homemaker and mother of two young kiddos. She was articulate and decisive. She was trying so hard to be accepting and happy with the life she designed, but lots were going on inside. When I asked her what she wanted, and she grappled for the right words, she said what so many women do: “I have everything I could want. A great husband, healthy and happy kids, a nice home in a fantastic neighborhood.” When she continued, “How could I want anything more?” I could almost feel the relief she felt finally letting those words free. And then, there it was. I saw it, but it wasn’t recognizable to her-yet. She felt guilty for wanting anything more than she had been blessed with. As decent human beings of the female persuasion in modern society, we strive for three basic things:

And sometimes these intentions lead us astray. We overcompensate to the point of causing harm.

Here’s what I mean.

  • In the attempt to be grateful, we don’t allow ourselves to want for anything, but we feel a nagging for something more. RESULT: Guilt.
  • In the attempt to be positive, when we feel pissed off, we stuff it down. RESULT: Resentment.

In an attempt to be strong, we never let them see our hurt or pain. RESULT: Shame…” excerpt — The Primed Drinker

So many women have no idea. They move through their seemingly perfectly designed life uncomfortably numb, often misusing alcohol.

“What do you want?”

It’s the question that can unlock so many undiscovered truths, broken dreams, stuffed down desires.

 

WHAT DO YOU WANT

“Identify What You Want

What do you want? is a very powerful question. In fact, it’s the first and last question I ask when working with clients. And when I meet a woman who wants reassurance that her drinking is not a problem, I ask it then, too.

Do you know what you want? Really want? The problem is, if you’re not clear, you’re likely to drift aimlessly into whatever comes across your path. And when you don’t know what you want, you’re more likely to settle for the so-so mate or job, or life-and only do what you have to do to get by.

Essentially, not knowing what you want means you simply survive. You go through the motions without any intention, meaning, or purpose.

If you want to take control of your drinking, this will never do.

Because here’s the thing: Getting by or settling is often the crux of misusing alcohol.

Let me say that again, in another way, your passive approach to life might be the reason why alcohol is an issue for you. OK, now is when you might be saying things like:

“My life isn’t so bad.”

“A lot of people have it much worse.”

“I should be happy.”

“I designed this life. How dare I ask for more?”

Remember Susan? This all may be true. But if you have to reason with yourself that your life is okay… that’s not living.” — excerpt The Primed Drinker

 

 

Women need to hear this message.

Women need to understand they are not broken.

Women need to know that they are not alone.

And if they are misusing alcohol, they need to read The Primed Drinker to avoid being misdiagnosed with alcohol use disorder and shoehorned into a one-size-fits-all system that may cause more harm than good.

Please help me get The Primed Drinker into the hands of those who feel trapped and misusing alcohol to medicate in order to tolerate their lives.

They can learn how to avoid getting swept up in the alcoholisms.

ALCOHOLISMS

“I was not even a year sober when I found myself without a program. No sponsor, no meeting, no steps, and no other support. Since the age of twelve, I hadn’t done “sober.” And all I knew was what I had been told repeatedly, the alcoholisms:

  • I have a disease called alcoholism.
  • My disease is going to tell me I don’t have a disease.
  • My disease is incurable and getting stronger, no matter how long I abstain.
  • I must work the 12 steps, go to AA meetings, and have a sponsor forever or I’ll get drunk and kill myself or someone else.

For months, I feared I’d be overcome by a sudden compulsion to drink that I wouldn’t be able to deny. I wasn’t going to meetings, and I waited for the demonic possession that would claim my mind, my body, and my choices. I knew I wouldn’t be able to control myself because that’s what everybody said. But there was no possession. No compulsion to drink. Day after day after day, I remained in control. Weeks turned into months and then years.” — excerpt The Primed Drinker

WE ARE NOT DONE

Bottom line. We are not done. We were designed to continue to learn, grow, and become until we no longer have breath in us.

It’s when we stop exploring and experimenting with life that we feel the need to numb the pain of feeling, “Is this all there is?”

So, just as Rita asks in her Ted Talk, I ask you now,

What do you want?

https://youtu.be/ZML0eAZ-RwI

 

My drinking hurts me by

My drinking hurts me by… is the writing prompt for day seven.

This video is from the Sober Explorers Facebook Live Series that happened every day from January 1 through January 28, 2020.

Each day we explored our conscious choices for the day, why we made the choices we made, and how it supports our overall twenty-eight-day intention.

But wait there’s more.

I also share “a little Wholly Sober insight.” This could be an excerpt from Wholly Sober, my first book, a personal experience, or even a client’s experience, but never without their permission.

The majority of the video discusses the power of forgiveness, how I made peace with my boys, and how you can let go, too.

We end with the quote,

“Look in my face; my name is Might-have-been; I am also call’d No-more; Too-late, Farewell.” – Dante Gabriel Rossetti

This quote truly encompasses the regret that we will face if we don’t take charge and truly embrace our power to create the life we desire.

If you’re interested in watching the full series join us at https://www.facebook.com/groups/soberexplorers/

And don’t forget to get your copy of EXPLORE 28 Day Journal available on Amazon!

Much love, Teresa

 

Teresa Rodden, Founder & Certified Life Coach

Wisdom from my real life experience, knowledge and skills from my professional certification and training, and a deep love and passion to help women break free from the prison that holds them captive. It’s one thing to make goals… It's a whole new life to create a Pink Cloud.

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Teresa Rodden
Mom, I love you This is the dedication in my firs Mom, I love you

This is the dedication in my first book, Wholly Sober.

There are no words to express the depth of love I have for my mom. She is my why.

As I write these words, my breath collects in my belly, there is constriction around my heart, and tears flood my lower lids.

My Mom died sometime between Thursday night and Friday morning. So many questions, emotions, regrets, wish I had, should have, if only...
#whollysober 

Full post can be read at PinkCloudCoach(dot)com blog
Got my first Moderna shot today. My husband’s Got my first Moderna shot today. 

My husband’s ride is in the shop so I had to walk to Safeway to get it. While there I needed to pick up some groceries and knew what I bought I’d have to carry for a mile in the blistering 50-degree sun (it felt SO much hotter) 😆 I'm a moon 🌙 child what can I say. ♥️

About halfway home, I started thinking about when I was little mom didn't drive, and we’d have to walk a mile every time we needed groceries: mom and her three little ones.

And when I was a teen mom on public assistance and no car I’d have to walk with Co-bear (Cody, my oldest son) a mile or more and have to push a cart home and then return it.

Feeling thankful for the ability to walk a mile, buy groceries, and get vaccinated. 

#moderna #covidvacccine #whollysober
Oh, my loves, all of THIS 💖 You know I was red Oh, my loves, all of THIS 💖

You know I was reduced to ashes, and it was deciding to be true to what my soul craved that restored me. 

I knew to be free I would have to find another way. 

That required willingness, curiosity, courage, audacity, tenacity and a desire for truth & freedom. 

What do you crave more than choosing to go through life uncomfortably numb? 

#whollysober #beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #possibilities #intentions #neuroplasticity #kindness #alcoholcoach #30daysofyes #exploresober #soberfreedom #pinkcloudcoaching #egofriendly #whatdoyouwant #becoming
Hey Mags! You interrupted my video message 😆 Hey Mags! You interrupted my video message 😆 

Good thing she's cute 😉

Working hard on some stuff ;) major stuff! Like, life-changing stuff!!

More to come... 

#beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #relaunch #nextlevel #soberfreedom #itsnotaboutthealcohol #returntoself #connection
#whatsyourwhy
#pinkcloudcoaching #youfirst #lifecoachforwomen #whollysober #30daysofyes #july2021 #freedomtochoose #possibilities #intentions #neuroplasticity #kindness #becoming #stopthinkingaboutdrinking
Happy #nationalpetday This is my little Maggy Mo Happy #nationalpetday 

This is my little Maggy Moo, Moon Pie, Magnolia and sometimes HEY!!!

She is also my officemate, exercise partner, playmate and helps me cut calories by eating part of my meals.

Pets are good for reducing depression, anxiety, boredom, and loneliness which happen to be some of the prominent factors in misusing alcohol. 

#beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #possibilities #intentions #neuroplasticity #kindness 

#nationalpetday2021 #petsgoodforhealth #whollysober
“Don’t be afraid to ask the little girl still “Don’t be afraid to ask the little girl still in you... how they are doing. Be curious about how she’s experiencing life. What are her hopes and dreams? Fears and doubts?”

Read the full article through link in profile. PinkCloudCoaching dot com / blog

#beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #thinkpink #itsnotaboutthealcohol #sobernotabstinence #stopallornothing #focusonwhatyouwant #whodoyouwanttobe #reconnecttoyou #whollysober #soberrevolution #revolutionizeyourbeliefs #pinkcloudcoaching #rethinkingdrinking
Happy New Moon 🌙 #beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #Thi Happy New Moon 🌙

#beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #ThinkPINK

Explore POSSIBILITIES
Define INTENTIONS
Activate NEUROPLASTICITY
Always be KIND to yourself

Not necessarily in that order 💖

#newmoon #pinkcloudcoaching #empoweringwomen #confidence #selflove #soberrevolution #whollysober #soberisnotabstinence #stopallornothing #stopthinkingaboutdrinking 
#newmoonmagic
New blog post: “The photo captured me and a new New blog post:
“The photo captured me and a new friend I had made at church camp, Shannon. She was what I wrote about in Wholly Sober, a good girl. The picture is out of focus, but you can see that it’s me in my swimsuit, cut-off shorts, and pigtails on the right.

Even now, my stomach has an ache in it. As if there is a fist-sized knot pressing up against my heart, causing my breath to catch and giving me a bizarre tingly sensation through my body. Anxiety....

In Wholly Sober, I wrote about this pivotal moment in time.

“…I Would Never Be A Good Girl

Rather than trying to become what I could never be, I disconnected from God and the good girls to be on my own… I stopped thinking about God… I walked away and never looked back. 

I was twelve.

Coincidently that same year, I experienced my first intentional drunk…”

Link in profile 
#whollysober #soberfreedom #beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #paindrinkingproblems
#pdpcycle #itsnotaboutthealcohol #bethewomanyouneeded #disconnected
Trying to convince Maggy we need to go for a run.. Trying to convince Maggy we need to go for a run.... It was an easy sell💖🐕🏃‍♀️
Let’s discuss the “I just want to stop thinkin Let’s discuss the “I just want to stop thinking” trigger or prompt to drink.

Drinking to avoid remembering, knowing, and feeling. We sometimes just use a shortcut for these reasons to drink and say something like, “I just want to stop thinking.”

I get it! Hell, I get it so good I am still haunted at times by memories that seem to pop out of nowhere trying to convince me that I am bad and deserve to suffer. I would be lying if I said I never fall victim to their seduction to shame.

So, what do I do since I don’t misuse alcohol to help put these random angry ghosts from my past back in the “do not open” drawer?

Go to the blog post at Pinkcloudcoach(dot)com/blog to find out 😉

#beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #whollysober #alcoholisnottheproblem #alcoholcoach #lifecoachforwomen #soberfreedom #sobermyway #pinkcloudsober
“Each time a woman stands up for herself, withou “Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” - Maya Angelou

I felt this while I wrote #WhollySober and feeling it so deeply now.

#standup #rise #womensupportingwomen #womenempowerment #soberfreedom #soberpossibilities #alcoholcoach #stopthinkingaboutdrinking #soberisnotabstinence #questionsobriety
#soberforreal #sobermyway #freetobeme #beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #goingafterlifesober #soberfreedomadvocate
Thinking is hard; judging is easy. Before you dr Thinking is hard; judging is easy. 

Before you drink, Think P.I.N.K.

I want to add even if you drink, Think P.I.N.K.

What? You are not perfect? Who is?

Judging yourself will only cause more pain. Pain leads to drinking. Drinking leads to more problems. More problems causes what? 

More pain! 

Judging keeps you trapped in the PDP Cycle.

Set yourself free and Think P.I.N.K.

#beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #whollysober #stopjudging #pdpcycle
@gotwhey.club a tiny peak of some of what's to com @gotwhey.club a tiny peak of some of what's to come 🙌💓
Saturday workday! I'm not complaining; I'm excited Saturday workday! I'm not complaining; I'm excited about what's heading your way 🥰

#beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #soberfreedom #havingotherpossibilitiestoexplore #inspiredbyhope #pinkcloudcoaching #whollysober
“The prisoner who lost faith in their future was “The prisoner who lost faith in their future was doomed…” Viktor Franklyn

I read this, and like so many times, I read similar brilliant passages; I’m magically transported back to when I didn’t want to wake up anymore...

Read the rest at Pink Cloud Coaching (dot) com / blog

#beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #pinkcloudcoaching #whollysober #stopthinkingaboutdrinking
Coincidence this is a new sign on my morning run? Coincidence this is a new sign on my morning run?

Start with you first! Then the quality of energy, attention, and effort for others is optimal. 

#beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #kindness
The final video in this series but the first step The final video in this series but the first step in the P.I.N.K. Cloud process.

Enjoy!

The K in P.I.N.K. is for KINDNESS

We can be brutal when we make mistakes

when we swore off alcohol forever in a moment of panic

only with time and distance

we reason our resolve away or

tell ourselves we’ll just have one and end up having several

berating shaming and guilting only perpetuates the pain drinking problem cycle

What science has to say about being kind to ourselves

It lowers our heart rate and changes the length between heartbeats

this helps us respond more flexibly to situations which allows us to be open to explore other POSSIBILITIES

It calms the heart rate switching off the bodies threat response

which keeps us from reacting impulsively and helps us to remain focused on our INTENTIONS

When our bodies are in threat response, it shuts down our ability to create new neural pathways.  Remaining kind and calm are ideal for NEUROPLASTICITY (the ability to change our brains)!

 

Before you drink, Think PINK!

#beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #pinkcloudcoaching #kindness #30daysofyes
Why Pink Cloud? I’m Teresa Rodden, an advocate Why Pink Cloud?

I’m Teresa Rodden, an advocate for having other possibilities to explore and founder of Pink Cloud Coaching, established in 2012.

 

So why Pink Cloud? Because it was being told that I was on a pink cloud over 17 years ago that saved my sober life.

 

It got me thinking about my future and having an aspiration pulled me through relying on a nightly habit of drinking away pain, causing more problems that created more pain, and the cycle would continue.

 

BUT My pink cloud reminded me that I was moving forward, and the future was not set.

 

I had the power of choice, and the possibilities were limitless.

 

Pink Cloud Coaching offers an innovative approach for women who are curious or concerned about their drinking habit.

 

Before you make alcohol the enemy and swear off it forever in a moment of panic which could cause more harm than help

 

Learn more at Pinkcloudcoach(dot)com
“We got on with our life and focused on creating “We got on with our life and focused on creating the lives we wanted to live...Daydreaming and doing.” - excerpt Wholly Sober

#whollysober #beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #pinkcloudcoaching #possibilities #intentions #neuroplasticity #kindness
Be inspired by Having Other Possibilities to Expl Be inspired by 
Having
Other
Possibilities to
Explore 💖

#beforeyoudrinkthinkpink #exploresober #beinspiredbyhope #pinkcloudcoaching #yourenotdone #lifecoachforwomen
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