Sober mom is the best mom

A sober mom is the best mom according to an article posted on the Pink Cloud Coaching Facebook page just a few days ago. It’s a blog post written in part by a twelve-year-old boy who was just five when his mom got sober. Following is an excerpt from the post:

“They say you feel warm when you drink, but I think my mom is warmer to me when she is sober! That’s my mom! The truth is that she isn’t mad about silly things anymore. She just isn’t mad with much of anything anymore, and that’s another reason why my sober mom is loving and awesome.”

I hear what he’s saying and have to agree with the getting angry over silly things, which don’t seem so silly when you’re nursing a hangover, or reeling from the repercussions from a drunken event. Like getting so drunk that you’re stumbling all over the place while out celebrating a good month of sales with your team. Yah, I don’t miss those days. Those kinds of embarrassing moments have a way of putting you on edge.

My boys at the time I quit alcohol said they didn’t see a problem with my drinking. There’s a part of me that believes all they knew was mom and alcohol. Mom living sober was a significant change in their lifestyle. At least once a week my drinking buddy, who happened to be my sister, would come over and bring her kids. While the adults were drinking and carrying on, the kids would run amuck. When mom got sober, those parties stopped. I think my boys missed that. I would be lying if I said I never thought of that as an excuse to have “one more party…for the kids.” But that never happened.

A sober mom is better able to savor life’s precious moments.

sober mom

They are both grown men with their own families now. My oldest is happily married and serves our country in the Navy. My youngest has gifted me with a grandson that I believe in my soul; I wouldn’t be the rock star engaged granny that I am if I were still drinking.

…misusing alcohol to escape, drown, numb, avoid, dumb down, or shut out feelings, events, and problems.

Here’s the truth. You cannot be the best mom that you are capable of and were created to be if you are not a sober mom. I’m not talking about the occasional glass of wine or cocktail; I’m talking about misusing alcohol to escape, drown, numb, avoid, dumb down, or shut out feelings, events, and problems. Come on, stop fooling yourself. Even if your children tell you it’s okay, it’s not. You might skim by as I did, but I missed so much. And honestly, my sons didn’t have anything to compare it to, like the young man who wrote the article.

Now, here’s how I responded to the post that was shared on Pink Cloud Coaching’s page: “Brian, thanks so much for sharing this article. The guilt moms feel about not being present only compounds their need to drink and ease the pain. It only takes a decision to start the change and the guilt of the time missed can be overcome by doing better.”

Beating the crap out of themselves with guilt and shame is a common problem with mothers who misuse alcohol. Whether you want to get sober on your own, twelve step it or work with me on creating a life that moves you forward, instead of pulling you back ; it’s time to make a change.

You can’t change the past, but you can overcome it by compounding better choices moving forward.

Click here to read the “sober moms are the best moms..” full article.

Choose to LIVE sober.

How do you want to live?

Live, darling, LIVE!

I believe that most of us haven’t even begun to understand our potential.

I, for one, was a rising star in my early to mid-twenties. It was all from a deep desire to break the legacy I had been born into.

By my early thirties, I couldn’t keep up with the breakneck pace I was driving at. I got reckless in my choices and life began to spiral. The consequences became painful, I needed quick relief and found it in alcohol. The more mess I made, the more alcohol I consumed, the more alcohol I consumed, the more mess I made.

Change began to happen in one day with one decision

I landed one day weighing in at nearly 22olbs, high blood pressure, low self-esteem, feeling trapped by the life I had created. I was broken and beat. I had been surrendering any charge I had over my life to an abusive and controlling man. It seemed impossible to grow from this dark and desolate place, where I had been struggling for years.

Change began to happen in one day with one decision; I changed by compounding one good choice with another good choice. I became mindful of how I wanted to live and who I wanted to be, for the rest of my life.

I know to expand into my potential I need to be present and aware. Daring and bold. You can’t be these things if you’re fuzzy in the mind, tired, hungover or drunk.

I had never done sober before. I remember telling someone who had been sober for two years I can’t imagine not drinking for that long. I haven’t had a drink in over thirteen years and can’t imagine why I would ever drink again. I’m not afraid to drink. I don’t live sober out of fear of what might happen if I drink. It doesn’t fit with how I want to live and who I want to be. I choose to live sober because it’s the best I can give to myself, my family, my work, and my life.

I saw this video on Facebook and was inspired to keep stretching myself. I hope you watch the video become inspired as well.

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If you want to take massive action in creating YOUR life by CHOICE contact me to get started now.

  Living Sober is to Live Your Best Life!

 

 

Mindset changes sobriety

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Mindset changes sobriety.

Overwhelmed. Confused. Cut off. These were the feelings that were swirling around me on a beautiful spring day many years ago. I was approaching my first year remaining abstinent from alcohol.

The first few months I was in an outpatient program and the following six months I was a devout member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I learned what I needed to do according to the program to remain sober. I also assumed the belief that if I stop going to meetings, I will get drunk.

My mindset adopted that there was a monster inside me waiting for me to let down my guard to pounce. If I ever try to tell myself that I don’t need a meeting, it’s just my disease luring me in for life domination.

“What you think, you become” Buddha

I attended a meeting every day, sometimes two. I did service work, opened and led meetings, encouraged to sponsor- but I never felt comfortable with that, worked my steps- sort of, talk to my sponsor daily, heck I even went into business with her just a couple months into program. I lived and breathed the program.

I won’t go into the sorted details of dysfunctional relationships and wildly out of balance expectations. I will only say, I was in, sold! My mind was set on what I needed to do to remain sober and not be hijacked by my disease. And then, the unthinkable happened. I made mistakes. I made bad decisions, and when I tried to correct them for the health of my sobriety, I became the target for gossip and was ostracized from my community. My mindset was fixed, this was my lifeline. My sobriety counted on these people and this program.

I moved about 30 minutes down the highway and attempted to find a meeting where I could feel supported, included, and connected. It just didn’t happen. Something in me could no longer accept that I was powerless, that my core identification was, I’m an alcoholic. I felt like I was being pulled backward. But I knew what program said and what was implied, “It’s the only way.”

Taking you back to that sunny spring day, I was driving down the highway with all these beliefs coming to the forefront of my mind. And with calm in my heart and peace in my spirit, I began to ask myself a lot of questions. mindset changes sobriety

What if I just stopped thinking about alcohol?

What if I just focused on moving forward?

What if I just live life like I want to live it sober?

What if my “alcoholism” is no longer the center of my universe?

What if I didn’t struggle?

What if I just don’t drink?

Since that day I have done a lot of research and personal life work. My mindset has shifted completely. I have tremendous value in the life I have created. I love, honor and respect the woman I am and still becoming. My mindset is flexible to what my Creator, Father God, has in store for me and I know He will equip me with all that I need. I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t need them either. I will make mistakes, and I will face them. My motto is, “I’m wrongable.” There is so much freedom in just being.

I believe I would have gotten drunk if I would have persisted in the program. I felt like I was on a small ledge above jagged rocks and barely holding on, one false move and the disease was going to overtake me.  I couldn’t live the rest of my life like that.

“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he” Proverbs 23:7

Could I drink and be okay? I don’t know. But when I ask myself that question, I respond to myself the same as I do with my clients, “Why do you want to drink?” The answer is always very telling. I simply have no need for alcohol in my life. It no longer fits.

Wanna talk about you moving forward? Click here!

mindset changes sobriety

Mindset changes sobriety!

 

What if alcohol is not the problem, but a symptom?