There is a reference that if you blindly follow a group, program, or popular opinion without challenging or considering how it aligns with your own personal beliefs, thoughts, values, ideals, etc., you are acting as a lemming. The common belief is that lemmings follow each other off cliffs committing mass suicide simply because they don’t make their own choices.
I have been thinking long and hard about the lemming belief lately. It’s come up in a few conversations and it seems to have hit a very raw spot in my heart
One of the bravest things I had to do to remain sober was walk away from the most referred program out there for anyone wanting help with alcohol abuse. I worked the program – over 90 meetings in 90 days, got a sponsor, did service work, worked the steps, you name it I did it. I was a faithful follower – until I wasn’t.
When I started becoming the topic of gossip and my personal life was being discussed among the members, I felt betrayed. I didn’t get the “if you don’t keep coming back you’re going to get drunk”, as I had heard so many say before. The fact is, I wasn’t wanted in my group anymore. I didn’t agree with things that were being said and done and the ever flowing current of hypocrisy never stopped. Now I will be the first to say this is my truth, my side of the story. I can most assure their story is different, as there is always at least two sides to every story. But the bottom line is I wanted my sobriety more than I wanted their program. I had to face the fact if I wanted my sobriety, I had to be willing to stand alone and leave the only sober community I had.
I won’t go into detail because at the end of the day it’s she said – she said – he said – she said – he said. Yes, it was me against the group. It was humiliating and hurtful and really tested my ability to believe in myself and continue to be healthy. What I know for sure is I would have preferred to be drunk than to continue in the rooms. I took a chance and followed my gut. It paid off well. Alcohol does not take center stage in my life. I do!
A guiding principal of Pink Cloud Coaching is to learn to trust and believe in yourself. By learning how to go deep with what you want; who you want to be; what you want to do; and how you want to live. It’s not as easy as it sounds. It takes gathering solid evidence cultivating your inner wisdom and trust. You have all you need to rely on within you. Your most trusted advisor is…a healthy and an aware you.
The following quote sums it up beautifully:
“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” – Buddha
I couldn’t agree more. I am certain had I not listened to my own truth and not done the work to really understand what matters most to me; foster an ongoing romance between me and my goals, dreams, and aspirations – I wouldn’t have experienced over a decade of peaceful sobriety.
By the way, the common belief that lemmings blindly follow each other off cliffs and commit mass suicide is a myth. Funny how we are so willing to believe what is popular opinion. Even the smartest of us fall victim to it.
In closing, wake up my darling. Be willing to do what works best for you. Don’t know what that is? Get really curious about what makes you happy and what causes you anxiety. If something just doesn’t feel right, challenge it.
They’re all clues to reveal your truth. And the truth shall set and keep you free!
I have designed a phenomenal 4 week process to help you start clearing away the myths and create a solid foundation to move you forward. Click here to schedule a chat and see if it feels right for you.
The traditional AA/12 step program does work for some, but not all. I know many who have been sober for decades who live the program and it saved their life. I mean no disrespect to the program as a whole. This is my experience.
– Teresa Rodden, Certified Life Coach